COMMUNICATING WITH YOUR UNBORN CHILD
Unborn babies are conscious of their surroundings
What is communication?
Why communicate with your baby before birth?
Imagine a world without fear
It is important to communicate in the positive
Babies respond to external stimuli
Bonding processes
How can we increase our awareness and communication with our baby?
Why is communication so important?
Learning to trust your intuition
Coming to terms with grief
Parenthood and communicating with your child
Communicating with your unborn child – CD available
Unborn babies are conscious of their surroundings
A lot of research has been done in the US, showing that babies in the womb are very conscious of their surroundings. It has been scientifically proven that babies see light, hear sounds and absorb information that is either given to them, or absorbed from the goings on around their mother.
Pre-birth bonding has many advantages and is certainly worthwhile exploring if you haven’t already been doing so. The outcomes for the mother and baby, the family unit and society as a whole are so much greater, if we can begin to acknowledge and respect the origins, the journey and the development of the unborn child.
What is communication?
According to the dictionary, Communication is a spoken or written message, the exchange of information or ideas. To communicate is to join or be connected with.
Forms of communication: spoken, written, touch, movement, body language, nuances of speech and movement. (Did you know that only 7% of all communication is verbal? 38% is tonality and 55% comes from our physiology). There is so much more to communication than we normally think about. Some of the great psychiatrists and psychologists of our time have spent their lifetimes studying human behaviour and exactly how it is that we communicate. Neuro Linguistic Programming is a model that was developed as a result of this work. Milton Erikson and Richard Bandler, just to name a couple, were pioneers in this field, studying human behaviour and how we do what we do. My studies of NLP and the work I have been doing for years with clients, have highlighted to me that there are many different levels of communication. NLP is a more scientific approach if you like, that explains what is going on at other levels of consciousness. I have worked with clients on a more spiritual level for as long as I can remember. NLP gives a tool for anyone to use, to access similar information which is hidden deep in the subconscious. It’s all based on hypnotic states and getting the conscious, rational mind out of the way, so you can access information on the deeper subconscious level. Communicating on the ‘spiritual’ level takes you even further and allows you to access any information that has ever been, or ever will be!! Sound Absurd? Well, you may think so…but it IS ALL POSSIBLE, for anyone, who is willing to get their conscious rational mind out of the way for a while, and let their right brain, their subconscious mind or their higher self discover new possibilities.
Why communicate with your baby before birth?
By communicating with your baby before birth, you can experience a relationship on a whole new level that you probably never thought was possible. If you learn to do this, so many new possibilities can open to you. You may be able to connect with your baby on a more ‘spiritual’ level and find out all kinds of information about them and what they want for their birth and for their lifetime. Let go of any fears you may have in relation to the upcoming birth and parenthood, so that you can truly open to the experience and enjoy the journey.
Imagine a world without fear
How does this relate to you…to mothers and babies, families and the world in general? So many of the world’s problems today are attributed to fear, and poor communication!! ‘Fear’ is simply a negative emotion. We can work to release this emotion in a variety of ways. NLP is excellent for this. So is guided visualization, positive affirmation and positive ‘hypnotic states’, such as Natal Hypnotherapy.
Imagine a world without fear?! There probably wouldn’t be any war or poverty. There would be less illness. Most illness comes from a blockage in our energy system. We are by the way, all made up of energy. Everything about us is energy. As soon as we go into ‘fear’…a block goes up. If it is not removed, it builds up until it manifests as illness. So let go of fear and enjoy life’s journey.
Relate this back to birth. What do you notice if a woman has a big block around hospitals? You know the type…terrified of hospitals, refuses to go near them. She chooses a home birth so she doesn’t have to go there. I’ve found that the more these women resist acknowledging the presence or possibility of a hospital, the more likely they are to be transferred during labor, into the one place they absolutely don’t want to go!! Now I’m all for homebirth (two of my children were born at home), but what women need to do is explore all possibilities, be okay with whatever needs to happen and then release it back to the universe. The same goes for caesareans. The universal law of attraction states that what you hold most in your mind is that which you will manifest!! The universe doesn’t recognize the negatives. It creates on positives. So if you keep saying “I really don’t want a caesarean”, the universe doesn’t pick up on the “don’t”, so what do you think you get? A Caesarean of course!! So what you think is. Be careful with your thoughts!
It is important to communicate in the positive
When communicating with the unborn child, it is essential to say things in the positive. The whole birth experience should be spoken about and prepared for in the positive, as it sets up continual affirmations of what will happen. This is then far more likely to eventuate. I know it’s difficult for pregnant women because there are so many other women wanting to share their negative birth experiences with them. These women need to debrief their own birth and this is why they ‘dump’ on other women. The trick is to not take it on. So if you know this, you can keep feeding yourself and the baby on positives. Hopefully then, over time you will begin communicating in this way out of habit. Use positive affirmations every day as often as you can.
Babies respond to external stimuli
Babies are so in tune with what is going on in the ‘outside world’. They react to all sorts of stimuli. They will respond to music that is played while in the womb. I played Strauss’s ‘The Emperors Waltz’ throughout my pregnancy with my eldest daughter. As a new baby and young child, I found this to be the most amazingly effective way to calm her when she was upset.
Babies will also react to loud noises by jumping suddenly and then having a lengthier unsettled or ‘awake’ period. They can be calmed and soothed inutero by gentle massage, a dose of Reiki, singing softly or gentle rocking motions.
Bonding processes
Your baby is unique to you and the relationship you build with your baby will be different to that with anyone else. To bond with your baby before birth, you can try one or all of the following methods. Develop some other methods of your own.
Methods of bonding can include:
• Touch - massaging, stroking, Reiki
• Sound – talking, singing, music (Mozart is wonderful)
• Emotional – Love, joy, happiness
• Spiritual – Meditation, visualization, ritual & ceremony
Take it to a new level…the spiritual dimension – by communicating with the incarnating soul.
How can we increase our awareness and communication with our baby?
Establish a deeper level of communication – through relaxation, visualization, meditation, guided imagery, journal writing, dream work, music, partner dialogue, affirmations, tactile stimulation, verbal stimulation, free drawing, mandala drawing, clay work, rhythmic breathing and any other creative way you can think of.
Why is communication so important?
When we can communicate with our unborn child on all possible levels, it opens the doorway for the following things to happen:
- Establish an amazing relationship
- Understand our child’s needs
- Heal any blocks BEFORE birth
- Be in tune with your baby throughout labor and birth
- Know where your baby has come from and where they are going on this earthly journey
- Understand your baby’s needs as a newborn when they can’t yet talk
- Relate our needs, desires and expectations to our new family member.
Learning to trust your intuition
Trusting your intuition and the information you are receiving is all part of effective communication with your baby, whether physically here already or not. We can be so quick to negate our own thoughts and feelings, which can undermine our efforts and cause us to give up on trying to communicate in this way. It takes persistence, practice and a lot of trust initially. The rewards however, are great.
Coming to terms with grief
When you are able to communicate clearly with your baby in this way, you can ask them all sorts of questions. This can then help you to overcome grief and heal any traumatic experiences you may have had.
I experienced a miscarriage at 16 weeks gestation. I was beside myself with grief as I really wanted this child. Because I was able to communicate with him on a ‘spiritual’ level, I was able to find out from him that “the body hadn’t turned out the way he needed it, so he had to try again for a different body”. I was able to console myself in this knowledge and know that whatever he eventually came in with would be perfect for him. One month later I conceived again and carried the baby to term. He was born nice and healthy and totally normal. I knew that even if his body wasn’t ‘normal’, it would’ve been of his choice and so would have been perfect for the journey he was choosing.
Similarly, we can understand and heal birth trauma and past wounds through this method of communication. I have worked with many women who had a very negative birth experience. We’ve been able to explore what happened and check in with the baby to find out exactly why it happened that way. There are so many different reasons that have surfaced for these experiences. It is very clear that no two people are the same, nor are their birth experiences or the ways in which they affect each of us individually. The fact is though…that these experiences can be healed. We can acknowledge them for what they were, then let go of them with gratitude for the lessons and move on through life with a clear slate. This is especially important if heading towards another birth journey. We need to release any blocks around birth, before we re-create a negative experience for ourselves.
Parenthood and communicating with your child
Once you become parents, it is really helpful to be able to communicate to your baby in this way. When they are unable to tell us verbally what they need, we can just ‘tune in’ to them to find our answers. If your baby is unsettled, teething, starting solids, hysterical for no known reason, then tune in and ask them what’s wrong. It’s amazing how effective it is and how much easier parenting becomes, if you at least know what they want.
Communicating with your unborn child – CD available
I have created a CD, aimed at helping women to establish and maintain open communication with their unborn child. There is a second track on the CD to help women to trust their intuition, especially around pregnancy and birth. To find out more information about my CD, or to order your copy, click on the picture below.
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I am currently writing a companion workbook to go with the CD, so that couples can take themselves through a nine month program at their own pace, as well as exercises, affirmations, visualizations and tasks to do either individually or as a couple. This will be available when finished, both in a hard copy format as well as a downloadable version. To find out as soon as this becomes available, please join our mailing list below and you will be kept current with new updates as they become available.
All the best on your journey into parenthood and beyond.
May you communicate openly and clearly with your new baby throughout conception, pregnancy, birth and babyhood.