Two Births and a Lesson For Life
One of the greatest lessons about parenting was dealt to me two months before the birth of my first child. I had it all so well planned, I was having this wonderful, natural, active, labour and I was going to be totally in control. I had read all the books and that was it. However at thirty-two weeks an Ultrasound discovered that not only was my placenta lying very low but there was also a condition called Vasa Previa – which basically meant that major blood vessels were blocking the cervix. There was no choice; it was potentially fatal for the baby and very risky for me so a caesarean was booked. I cried for about week! Then slowly the realisation came that the most important thing out of all of this was to have a healthy baby.
The caesarean section went very well. As we had time to prepare ourselves for it, it was a beautiful experience. And my beautiful baby daughter came into the world perfect in every way. What a lesson I had learnt, and I guess it was one that was going to be essential as a parent. Be flexible – set yourself goals and be informed but children are so unpredictable. I was so happy to learn the “go with the flow” lesson so early on. I also felt I needed to stand on the roof tops and shout to every expectant mum to be prepared for any outcome – I couldn’t help thinking how shocking it would have been for me if I had an emergency caesarean (as so many women do).
Two years later I fell pregnant again and this time prepared myself for just that. All the doctors considered me a “high risk” patient but I searched around to find one who would be supportive of at least trying to have a natural delivery. I am very fortunate that my sister is a midwife and she was my pillar of strength. She helped me prepare and offered to be my doula at the birth. The pregnancy went well and the ultrasound showed that everything was looking good so we booked into the hospital and prepared our list of essentials to help make the labour a pleasant experience.
My waters started to leak the day before my due date so my doctor suggested I go in to the hospital. Everyone expected the labour to start soon so we sat and waited. My sister organised babysitting for her three children, loaded her basket full of CDs, flowers, essential oils, and so on and came in. After hours of little activity they sent us all home again. My husband and I went to stay at my mums for the night as she was doing a wonderful job looking after my two year old daughter, who at this stage was trying to work out what all the fuss was about.
I started having contractions during the night but the next morning they were still very erratic so my husband decided to go in to work for the morning. By lunchtime things were happening quite fast so Mum started calling in the support team. I was wanting to wait until the last minute after messing everyone around the day before but Mum was of the opinion that the last minute was approaching fast and could we all please get going!! She was right. We set off for the hospital at 2.30pm and my beautiful baby was born just before 4pm! No time for getting in the bath, or listening to music or sucking on barley sugar. I am happy to say that everything went incredibly smoothly and I was able to experience the natural, active birth I had always wanted. The doctor even stood back and let my sister deliver her little niece into the world, an experience we all still rejoice in today. My husband was actually speechless for once as he took part in this little miracle. It was a truly wonderful birth. I was in a bit of shock afterwards as it all happened so fast but I was amazed at how great I felt.
People have often asked me which type of birth I would choose after experiencing both – a caesarean which involved very little pain or a natural birth where I could feel everything. I am always very quick to reply a natural birth if it is possible. It is an incredibly empowering experience and the recovery time is so much better. But I always remember to tell people to prepare for all outcomes because birthing and children are so often unpredictable. That’s life and that’s okay!